My Head My Soul

April Showers

2006-04-17T22:44:00.000-05:00

Trixie is going well - we need more new songs - the band and the fans are getting restless - it's just so hard to get everyone in the band to agree to a rehearsal night.

Went to see Leslie a few weeks ago - she's doing just fine. Looks amazing...sounded great.

Now - I am sleepy
big week ahead

must keep in good sleep habits

kelly gets cranky

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

trish is back yay

Psycho? PMS? or Mental illness?...YOU DECIDE

2005-09-18T19:25:00.000-05:00

I have often wondered over the years, before we (society/doctors) knew what PMS was - what did they do with the women? Did they throw us in the looney bin (pardon the phrase) or what?

As many ladies and gents that I know - I too have been on the Prozac Trip before... and it made me feel worse! So for the longest time now I have trained myself to feel these waves of depression and irratic behavior coming on - and do whatever I needed to do to get through this "spell" that I was having. I learned that I could face it without meds (well, maybe a glass of wine or 2) and go read, or walk or do something to clear my head and gain back control over my emotions and thoughts... two things that become linked as one when I am feeling this way.

Still there is something else that I can't seem to shake...it's always there hanging over me like a shadow that I choose to ignore - it's that notion that my life is in limbo (or falling downward) and it's not changing anytime soon. I know so many women my age who feel the same way. We see the bad in our lives as though through a magnifying glass - and the good has to be pieced together and sought out. We feel like we wake up and have the same damn day - everyday. Before we know it we'll be in our 50's - and who or what will be there after we have spent the past 20 -30 years just trying to make it through each day with ourselves and our families all in one piece.

Isn't 30 something too young to be having a mid-life crisis? Maybe not if I had to say 30 something instead of my real age. I mean I am fucking tired of feeling depressed or anxious (or both) everyday. Wondering about personal, financial, and career directions is consuming me - paralyzed in fear, anger, and sadness... I do the minimum to muttle through. I sleep A LOT. I escape into books, or movies, or games. So, is my problem the fact that I don't get off my whiney ass and do anything about any of this? What about the things that I don't or can't control - that effect me and how I feel???

Hey ...Pssst ... Emotions and Hormones.... FUCK YOU! I look at these women that have it all together, and I feel 10 times worse that I can't just seem to take care of myself and my family. I know what is important - I really do. What you leave behind in this world - what you've done for others - how you have treated others.... that's why I can't stand to waste another day feeling sad and defeated by 9AM!!! I don't want to waste the rest of my 30's and 40's being sad and trapped.

God I need Dr. Phil - anyone got his number?
Maybe diving head first back into my Bible wouldn't be a bad idea either.
~KW

Sick, Now Better, Now What?

2005-09-06T21:53:00.000-05:00

Being sick sucks - not even in the same realm of New Orleans level of sucks... but my sick, depressed ass sat home last weekend - and I felt so awful watching CNN and so helpless. I had a very bad sore throat which since turned into a cold, and a cough , and is already on its way out. I was couch bound from last thursday through today (tuesday) was the first day i got out of the house. Also the first time I had to cancel a gig due to being sick..... and stayed home and cried for the gulf coast people and couldn't believe this was happening in the united states.

I caught up tonight on a lot of blogs that I hadn't been reading. All of my friends are going through painful bad shit.... what is up with the world these days? To those of you who read mine - I really hope you can get your asses out Friday night - because this chic wants to give you one hell of a show - and help ya'll get drunk - because I can't believe all of the painful stuff each one of you is going through!!!! We need some fun times!

I am feeling better thank GOD.... and have lots of catching up to do here at home and with band stuff.

I miss you all - and I am sooooooooo ready to rock!

~ KW

ALRIGHT ALREADY ~sheesh!

2005-08-25T12:33:00.000-05:00

I guess it's nice to know that you are cared about though......... ; ) ~ It has been a bummer of a month - let's get the worst over with. Our family dog died! Had to be put to sleep - he was 11 yrs. old. He was only mine for the last 2 years - as he was originally my BF's dog - but you all know how well men can take care of living things _ LOL ....so he really became mine. The kids were torn up - a mess. We all got to say goodbye to him first - he had Bloat - look it up. They operated on that $1200 - and he was suppose to be fine. He wasn't - there was a mass of cancer in his lungs - that was only detected when he was having trouble breathing after surgery. RIP Jake - you're a good boy.

About a month before that, we got a new puppy - mostly beagle. Jake was around long enough to teach him the ropes - God does work in mysterious ways, doesn't He? Mingus - is the puppy's name and he is a hoot! Kids feel not so lonesome.

I have been getting more and more depressed with no explaination as some of you know...... so today was the day I decided to make myself feel better. I started working out today again!!!! Haven't in over 2 years steadily.......we have this great cardio room at our community center and I took my big ass in there for a warm up. Heh! 10 min of stretching - 15 mins on the eliptical machine, freeweights arms, then 5 more mins on the bike, then 60 sit -ups (crunches.) Hoping to get back to my 30 min of non-stop cardio in 7 days. LOTS OF STRETCHING - I don't wanna be sore. Slimfast - LunaBar - turkey wrap - and about 48 oz of water is what I have had so far today and it's only 12:45pm - LOL! But the honest truth is - I feel better already - my energy level has sky rocketed - and my depression is deflating as the day goes on. FROM ONLY ONE WORK OUT!!!!!!

Kids are back in school - so as the rich women say ....I have more ME time now.

I want to like myself again - not just the way I look - but feel, think, react, and need more energy.

So look out - the pumped up KW is on the loose!

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

PS _ happy now? I freakin' posted.

Finally Something to write ABOUT!!!!!

2005-07-26T00:00:00.000-05:00

YESSSSSSS - I am finally blogging again! Almost forgot my password....durrrrrr. Anyway - got in a major fight with my BF - kinda took the wind outta my sails and also didn't make me want to write anything.

But here is something good : I survived taking my daughter to her first rock concert! It was awesome - and I sat there and watched her more than the person on stage. It was Avril Lavigne......... and she actually was great.

What else - oh yeah.......... I had a great birthday thanks to my kick ass friends!!! All of the wishes that poored in were just fan - fucking- tastic. My BF still has not given me a present.............. I know ................. whatever! It may sound shallow but - this is the second year he has done this to me...... and me is pissed!

SO - anybody hot?

~ KW

Ooooooh Aaahhhhh ~

2005-06-30T11:36:00.000-05:00

The fourth of July is almost here and I find myself getting as excited as I did when I was younger about actually getting to see some fireworks this year! When I was of grade school age - my parents would always take me to some city (ex.: webster groves, kirkwood) that had a nice fireworks display. Mom would lay out a blanket - and I would watch the night sky light up and a thousand dreams would rush in. How do they make those? And how do they know what color they will be when they go off? or what shape? It made me believe anything was possible - as a naive youngster.... those fireworks were magic.

As I turned 13 - my best friend and partner in crime Julie, and I were allowed to take busses places ( I grew up in the city of St. Louis) so the year we were both 13 we pulled the classic "you tell your mom you are coming to my house, and I'll tell my mom that I am going to your house" routine, and we both hopped on a Bi-state bus headed for the VP Fair ( I still call it that.) We probably had 10 dollars each, and this was back before they made you buy stupid ticket booklets for everything! We got there in the afternoon and Independance Day had a whole new meaning for us - Wooo Hooo we were free!!!! Free from annoying parents - free to do whatever we wanted!!! We started off into the gigantic crowds of people and somehow met Rick Flair the wrestler and hung out with him most of the day. He introduced us to Long Island Teas! WE WERE 13!!! We probably told him we were 17. We did that a lot back then. We didn't get drunk though - we thought they tasted awful! So we headed off in pursuit of other adventures - saw some great music on the main stage - met a couple of boys our age right at dusk...and held hands with them and kissed a little, as the fireworks were going off. So that's what fireworks started meaning to me from that age on - ROMANCE. Still to this day if I don't have someone to hold hands with or smootch during fireworks, I get a little teary and feel empty but I still watch, amazed and delighted. One thing 13 year olds never do is plan something all the way through.... we hung out with the boys our age even after the fireworks....until the fairgrounds under the Arch were almost completely empty! They said bye...and we headed of at 11pm to go find our bus route. THE BUSSES STOPPED RUNNING AT 10:30!!! OH SHIT! Well we can't call our parents, now can we - Liars we were! But I had befriended a local radio DJ who happened to be working in the CBS building downtown - You see, I really wanted to get into radio and called him a lot (3 times a night) and he saw me as a nice eager-eyed kid, nothing more.... so I called on the REQUEST LINE - it rang about 40 times and he finally answered. I explained our dillima, and he told me he would drive us home but we'd have to wait until he was off the air at 12 midnight - but we could come up and hang out in the studio until he was done for our safety. Heh! Just in the nick of time as the people of the night ( hookers, winos, and muggers) were starting to come out from the shadows as the families and tourists were leaving downtown. Now most of you know I have an 11 year old daughter, so you can understand the hair on my arms and neck standing up as I write this story. He kindly drove us home to MY HOUSE - and as we neared my front porch, my mom was sitting outside - Julie and I ducked down and told him to take us to the end of the block.... we got out and started walking back deciding what our story was going to be as we knew our mom's had already talked, and our big lie was exposed. All these years later I don't even rememeber what we told my mom - I do remember getting in big ass trouble though! And picturing Julie and I not being able to get to sleep that night from all of the days excitement - we took a trip BY OURSELVES to scary old downtown St. Louis and survived! The world was ours to explore - because it somehow didn't seem that big and bad anymore.

2005 - and I still love fireworks! You couldn't get me anywhere near the heat and crowds of VP FAIR (fair st. louis) - I go to somewhere a bit smaller to watch fireworks... year before last I had my kiddo and her friend. Layed out a blanket for them - and layed there under the magically lit up sky still wondering how they do that.... my daughter added, "How do they know what shape it's gonna be?" I just smiled and said - I don't know.... and really I don't wanna know. I don't want the curtain pulled back - it's part of the magic NOT to know! My boyfriend wasn't anywhere to be found, as it was also his GIG we were at - so he was probably off rolling up chords or something. So laying there, I reached out blindly and found my daughters hand....and she took mine and squeezed it and said, "Happy Independance Day Mom." I couldn't imagine being in any other country in the world on July 4th. America rocks!!!

SUNday ~ ouch ! Crispy!

2005-06-19T22:54:00.000-05:00

Well today (sunday) I was a full fledged SOFTBALL MOM! Yes I can hear the laughing already - rock star (in her own mind) on the weekends, and sports mom is her alter ego. There I was complete with the mini-van and everything - fold up chair with drink holder. It made me feel very UNWILD. HA!

My daughter had a softball tournament this weekend and I missed 2 games yesterday but got to see 2 today....and guess who forgot the sun block? Me me me me me me me - I did - yeah me. Ouch! I am crispy - I look like Rudolph.

SO another week in store - to balance between kids outta school, band stuff, housework, and finding time to workout - yes I am trying that again..... wish me luck! I am so outta shape! My big priority is making time again everyday to read my bible - and meditate on what I have read.....I have gotten so far out of touch lately and I feel so empty and out of focus - but I will get back on track - yes i know I will.

I am going to bed early tonight - well - early 4 me 11pm.... I need to catch up on my ZZzzzzzzz's.

Why?

Well my wild gal pals showed up to the gigs this weekend and I abused my body and must recoup!!!!! Yes you cowgirl ! LOL and that other biker chic too!

Hope you all have a kick ass week - and find some time to be alone and do nothing for a moment.

~ KW

2005-06-14T11:44:00.000-05:00

Pull your undies out of your ass - I am okay! Sheesh! Everything is going alright so far with the new band direction.........it's summer break and my daughter is keeping me plenty busy - as well as juggling band stuff.

It's nice to know you are cared about though - and that people miss reading your blog.

I had to go swimsuit shopping last week - as my old stand by, the black one piece skirted swimsuit had taken about as much sun and chlorine as it could take - it was literally falling apart................. so off to the torture chambers (which I've heard some of you readers like) to try on bathing suits. YUCK!

Trying to slowly get some sun so I don't turn into a crispy critter - and be summer mommy - and band girl. So please forgive the far and few between blog entries.

~ KW

Take Me With You ~

2005-05-24T18:50:00.000-05:00

That's all I have been able to think about the last 3 weeks... is for my friend who is going away to take me with her. I have had to keep telling myself that change is good, and the band can handle this, blah blah blah... and I know it's all true - but this is not just some musician who can be replaced - this is my best friend of the past 13 years that we are talking about here.

She's been through boyfriends, sat by my side during childbirth, each others weddings, each others divorces, and really only 1 major fight in 13 years is pretty damn good! Most of the time we feel like we are the only 2 people in the world who knows what the other one is feeling, thinking, or going through. We don't always see eye to eye - but we understand each other completely.

Saturday night is going to be a cryfest for sure - bring the Kleenex - and just know that you cannot sing when you have a giant "Lassie Come Home" bubble in your throat!

~ KW

I am a bad Blogger and I should be spanked!!!

2005-05-20T00:32:00.000-05:00

Bad Kelly - BAD! Hello - I am better today.... bad visit with Auntie Flo - LOL. It's true .... sometimes I hate being a girl! This bout with mother nature had me down for 4 days! Ouch!

Guys from da band came over tonight and we jammed some new tunage! YAY!

Can't wait for the weekend - I am so ready to shake some tail and not be bedridden!

~ KW

Get Back On Your Blog And Ride Missy ~

2005-05-06T11:37:00.000-05:00

Okay - sorry I haven't been here - but let's just say the vacation did me WELL. I came back so refreshed and inspired that I just had so much to do when I got back home...and then catching up with all of the band stuff - yowzaaa!

Now my van is begging to be shot! I HATE CARS!!!! Mine especially is a money pit.

Had a great time last weekend with my girls - some of whom I didn't get to see for very long, but so great to just be able to see their smiling faces!

This weekend will kick butt - I love playing at this venue!!!!

I promise to report back soon!

~ KW

Week ended MUCH BETTER ~

2005-04-17T11:21:00.000-05:00

The week did indeed end much much better. Thank you for you kind thoughts, wishes, and prayers. You'd think by now I would learn that if I can hang on long enough the moment or moments that I think I am not going to make it through, very soon are days and weeks behind me! I can never remember that when I feel like I am just going to die... why is that?

It was so BEAUTIFUL to get to see friends and fans of the band out at an all ages show - with their children. The kids were great! It was really a very nice experience friday evening... I had the best view looking out from the stage - seeing the people that I love with their kidos along, dancing and laughing. It filled up my heart with much needed happiness. Great night!

Having an in depth, soul bearing conversation with your BF or husband will often turn things around too. Even if you are the one doing most of the talking, and even if you are having this conversation for the 1200th time. I have a way brighter out look for this week - things put back in focus - a new game face. Maybe at times I am just one of the most hopeful people I have ever heard of - and other times hope leaves me like an evil slut... and I find thoughts of driving off bridges frequenting my head. Hmmm - sounding a little bi-polar myself, I think. That will be $150 and I'll see you next week.

I really want to plant a veggie garden this year but I think I might be too late already to get started (story of my life) does anyone know about this kind of stuff?

Busted my butt to try to get out the door to church this morning - told God I was sorry for not speeding up enough to make it happen... then I read my bible a bit... not quite the same as the feeling I have worshiping with others but it always starts my day off right.

HAVE A GREAT WEEK EVERYONE ~KW

HaRd WeEk ~ so far it SuCkEd

2005-04-13T23:55:00.000-05:00

Letting these warm tears turn cold on my face
They're the only things that don't seem out of place
As another day practically knocks my down
All I do is daydream about leaving this town
Guess that would mean leaving you too
Today that feels like something I could do

Leave the tears alone don't try to wipe them away
It's too late to be nice now 'cause you want me to stay
The wine that I have poured 3 times in my glass
Well it's numbing the pain but that too shall pass
And the sobering sound of your voice in in my head
Is the sound of your voice in the dark in my bed

Well I am so close to finally breaking
I really don't know who you think I am
I can't take anymore of what I have been taking
I'm carrying bad ideas around in my hands
Don't know if I can hold on much longer
You always seem to think I am stronger
But this is the last time
You're gonna watch me come undone

*************************************************************************
Don't think there is anything to add to that ~ this week really sucks!
Especially when you are expected to be Mrs. Brady and Alice.

~ KW

Payin' the cost to be the boss...

2005-04-11T20:53:00.000-05:00

Yeah rrrright! Whatever! I am not the boss, okay? I need a t-shirt that says that on it. I do more extra shit than anybody else that's for sure! I had to be the one to start the conversation up last weekend of "letting someone go" Someone that I really like. It sucks! The men in the band just sat there and didn't say a word... ugh!

So this is how my week started - and Monday was sucky - the rain the gloom - BF being vicious all day - sinks backing up again - blah blah blah. A MONDAY - EVERYONE HAS THEM!

SO ~ enough bitching....

How come when I huff and I puff I can't blow this house down?

When I die could I come back next life as one of Paris Hilton's dogs? Now that's the life!

Would it really be SO bad if I just shaved my head and got to wear fun & different wigs everyday?

Will I ever fit into those one cool pants again? And would I really wear them out of the house if I ever did?

Why do I feel like a pervert everytime I am picking out cucumbers at the grocery store?

If I flushed Nemo down the toilet would he really make it to the sea? I think I'll just tell him that anyway.

~ KW

Another round of bad news to get through ~

2005-04-05T09:35:00.000-05:00

Well last weekend was a blast with friends and fans of the band up in Quincy! So much fun! Then the week started off with a court order being dropped off, the dog barfing and liquid crapping everywhere, and my BF getting looney because he was off his meds for a month because they cost too much $$$.

Thank goodness he is taking them again - and we talked and both agreed that never again will we not save up for his meds like we do for any other expense, or bill. The dog is better as far as I can tell.... now the court date thing is looming over head. But I am NOT one to dwell in bad news land, or have a giant pity party - I simply start cleaning like a freak, and throwing out old shit, and getting organized. That seems to be something that makes me feel more in control of my life, when outside forces and other people are trying to tell me I'm not.

As always I will pray and read my bible - and trust in God's word that he will never give us more than we can bear. He never has - even through my parents dying, etc. And this court order isn't even for me - but someone I love is stressing so I am sympathy stressing I guess.

Everyone has problems and pain, and sources of stress in their life - it's how we deal with it that makes us who we are... I can't very well explode everytime my kid asks me for something just because my mind is stressed to the max.

Things will get better - there will always be something to fix - this is life. It's time to adapt a new attitude and approach the bullshit with a smile and a "bring it on" state of mind.

~ KW

Go outside - topless!

2005-03-29T13:07:00.000-06:00

What a glorious day it is today
Outside the birds are calling
The gentle breeze, it's in the 70's
And I find my clothes are falling

Not off a clothesline, nor from a table
But rather right off of my body
I take a dare, don't seem to care
That I no longer am a Hottie

I blame it on this awesome weather
This beautiful warm spring day
That I felt within, the need for skin
And out loud said, "What the Hey."

So if you are my neighbor
I truly apologize
Just look away, it's only one day
Love, A Sensual Woman of Size

written by KW

no I did not get nakey - but I really wanted to!

With Friends Like That Who Needs Enemies....

2005-03-21T11:35:00.000-06:00

I always hated that saying - and I am saddened that I got to realize how true it was this weekend. Nothing happened to me personally - but to some of my buds, and I am really bummed now about it.

So can you believe it's fricken Easter time already? Crap!

My girl is on spring break all this week and I have to find way to entertain or reward her after I make her help me clean - and the weather is gonna be sucky all week! Ugh!

I hope my friends work out their differences - and I hope the one that was being a GIANT jerk can find the balls to apologize - so he can go back from being a snake to walking upright like a man. I care about both of them - too much!

Knock Knock (who's there?)
Interrupting Cow (Interrupting Cow wh - MOOOOOOO!)

~ KW

Just 'cause I'm Kelly doesn't mean I'm Irish!

2005-03-17T12:15:00.000-06:00

Top O' The afternoon to ya! Is everyone sick of that already? It's just for one day - get over it! No I am not Irish even though me name is! I am French and German. yikes! Wondering how many houses in the Metro -area smell like farts from all the cabbage a'cookin'? Peeee-youuuuuuu! But it tastes good!

Performing as solo front person tonight -gotta slay 'em too. The pressure is on to show the audience and club owners alike that I can do this , and can be even more entertaining when I am not worried about hogging the spotlight or stepping on someone's toes!

Anyone got any magic weightloss pills? Also need to plant a money tree in back of the house... and while I'm at it - I might as for a year with Johnny Depp! Why just a year ? Well I don't want to kill him!

~ KW

Filling Voids and Other Fun Life Make-Over's!

2005-03-13T22:35:00.000-06:00

How do you follow a title like that without just spilling it all and letting it all out there - I guess that's what these things (blogs) are for anyway. To feel it - put it out there and let it all go - right? Do I have this right yet? Ugh!

I spent Sat. morning my first waking hour, sitting in my bed and reading my bible - the book of Corinthians to be precise. Now in saying that I may have lost some readers already - but anyone who kinda knows me should hopefully already know I am a Jesus freak. I am just not the preachy - in your face kind. I am not a very good example of what a Christian should be - as far as setting examples for others, or being a light for others to follow. Right now I am just learning - a baby in the journey of my faith - even though I have believed in God and prayed my whole life. ANYWAY - it makes me feel CENTERED, COMFORT, PEACEFUL when I spend time in the Word. It really is food for my soul! Helps me get my head on straight and remember what I am suppose to be doing in the first place. If this is all a bit too heavy - you aren't ready to hear it yet - maybe you should stop reading this particular blog right now. : )

When ever I am feeling empty - AND THIS IS MY BELIEF - when ever I am trying to fill that hole up inside me - with booze, food, shopping, sex - anything... I know it is really only ever filled (even the smallest bit) by getting closer with God. Praying, talking to him - trying to listen ( by reading the New Testament.) I really do feel a spiritual presence in my life - peace. The kind of peace I can't get from a bubble bath, or a movie, etc. And when I feel it I know it is true and real - and I should do this more often. Now for those of you who haven't felt this - made this connection - it's gonna sound like a bunch of malarky to you! You are going to be thinking - okay Kelly ... uh huh .... buh bye now. But I am just telling you this is what fills my empty space, my sad heart, my desire for more love, my loneliness - all of it! And it's taken a LONG time to get here - I didn't have this connection always - it's only there when I do my part and work on it - kinda like a marriage I guess. I had to keep asking Him to reveal himself in my life - to speak to my heart - to let me feel his love... begging that this is what I wanted... crying myself to sleep as I was praying - not those memorized prayers I learned in Catholic grade school either - this kind of prayer is just being real and talking with God. Asking - why do I have to feel this way - what do I have to do ... thank you for keep my child safe, and me - thank you for my job, and all of my blessings Lord. Please help me to _______________________________. I give this to you Lord - it's way to big for me, and I have to let go of it and trust you... and always remember that WAIT and NO are also answers from you even when I am looking for a YES. I had to SEEK HIM OUT - not just say "okay God here I am watcha got for me pal?"

If your are still listening/reading - LOL - I thank God always for the help and love of my friends - you are a blessing in my life FOR SURE... It doesn't push me away if you don't believe in what I do - and I hope reading this didn't push any of you away - I am the same old Kelly - the same old mess of a person - LOL - but I feel better having shared a little more of the depths of who I am and putting that out there.

It's really hard for me to feel this way and then be who I am on stage and I am trying to find a balance in all of this - in not being so far one way or the other.

I hope everyone has a great week - and hey .... I'll be praying for you! XO XO KW

You REALLY Should Be Able To Laugh Your Ass Off!

2005-03-09T08:52:00.000-06:00

Would it be nice - just laugh and lose weight! DAMN So last weekend was fun with the band ~ jammin' in casinoland - lots of groovy friends and fans showed up....and it exposed the band to a lot of new people. Which is always kick ass!

At home things are about the same - my girlie has another lovely school project due - I wonder what my grade will be on this one. It always turns into my project! So when she gets them back I ask - what did I get on it? This one is a hum-dinger though. She/we had to come up with an invention - and design it and make it work. YAY! UGH!

Tomorrow I volunteered myself to watch 2 little boys ages 2.6 and 1.2 - do I still have the energy for this? And then still go play music that night? We shall see.

This weekend will be a new place for the band - Iam exited and nervous both at the same time. I'll let ya know how it turns out.

Watched a BEST OF Fear Factor last night - and was glad that fear would be a factor for me! How can they eat that shit?!?!?

King of Queens - still makes me laugh so hard - I love that dude!

Can we start burning Michael Jackson records yet? Or should we be thinking what parents in their right mind would let their child spend the night at Neverland anyway?!?!?!

~ KW

Why Can't I Sleep ~ UGH!

2005-03-02T01:46:00.000-06:00

Here I am awake again for the 3rd night in a row - at 2am. Sunday night I was up until 4am, and then got up at 6:30 to take my sugar bear to school. When you have insomnia - you don't only feel like the only one awake in the house- you feel like the only one awake in the whole world. Most people that know me and read this probably think - Hey she's a night owl anyway... she can handle it. But the truth is : I lead a double life. Sunday through Thursday I am Mom, Maid, and go to bed at like 10:30pm - Weekends : LOOKOUT! Who's going to Pop's with the band? Tried a glass of wine - tried chamomile tea - NADA!

Tomorrow will be sucky!

~ KW

Check for toilet paper on your boot, before going back on stage!

2005-02-25T12:23:00.000-06:00

Tonight should be a fun funky-ass night! Celebrating some birthdays, jammin' with the band, having a few cocktails.

It's good to be finally feeling better - had to mention that since I have been bitching so much about being sick. Just feel a little sketchy still in the mornings when I first wake up.

Got some new songs on the horizon tonight - hope the crowd likes them.

When my nails are painted black - I can't tell if there is dirt underneath them - GROSS! So I have been using my little nail brush like a freak. I could never paint my toenails black - because it just looks like you got it smashed in the door or something.

ROCK ON ~ KW

Ever See The Movie Ground Hog's Day????

2005-02-23T09:14:00.000-06:00

This what I feel like everyday ~ I even wrote a song called SSDD (same shit different day) Then I have to watch all of these inspiration bitches on Oprah and other shows - that make me feel like anything is possible - but then of course they don't live with the man I live with.

Excuses excuses - never come up with any good uses
Try to get your tunnel vision
But not in front of the televison

Not feeling very talkative or creative in the last few days....sorry.

~ KW

Tell Me something Good ~

2005-02-18T14:56:00.001-06:00

I gotta go on stage and entertain after frickin' Danzig tonight - entertain 1000 drunk people who shouldn't have made the journey across the bridge to sin town anyway... Yes the band is at the infamous Pop's tonight -yay!

I still feel like doo doo.

Sinus headaches suck!

Maybe it was the 2 boxes of haircolor.

Who would still be naming their sons Ralph? It is another term for vomiting in this day and age.

You know, blowing your nose doesn't help the sinus pressure of a sinus headache.

Today kinda sucks, if you are me... But you're not. Lucky bastard!

While you are sleeping - I'll be screaming out AC/DC songs at 4 am. Trade ya!
Of course while you are at your desk brain dead, filled with hate for your boss - I am lounging about, reading, etc. So I guess it's a trade off.

How to stop farting in 10 days ~ by Madison S. It will be a best seller someday.

~ K

I Spy With My Big Brown Eyes...

2005-02-16T20:21:00.000-06:00

How can something that you know inside is so right - go so wrong... and why does this always happen to me, dammit????

Love Stinks - yeah yeah!

I guess a weekend away will do me some good, or some bad. I don't know what else to do at this point.

I am so tired of being sick! Is this what happens when you don't get a fucking flu shot?! This sucks! I hate shots! Unless they come in a shot glass. Those kind of shots ROCK!

Why does Johnny Depp have to be so hot? Okay maybe he isn't.

Why do kickass things like dishwashers have to cost so much money????

My daughter is amazing.

I want somebody to hold me and caress me to the point of being annoyed.

I want to lay in a giant bath tub for 2 hours.

With Pam Anderson.

Why doesn't he love me like .... like.... like he should, and could?

~ K